The holiday season is a stressful time for many of us. We are navigating schedules, menus, gifts, personalities, and feelings. Stress is not always a bad thing. Stress is defined as physical and emotional strain.
Stress can be the ideal amount of pressure to cause awareness, elevation, and breakthrough. While your stress this holiday is best determined by you, I want to offer you self-care tips to consider just in case you need them. In these moments your presence is significant, not just mentally and physically but emotionally.
Choose to disconnect
During the most important days and events of the holiday season, choose to disconnect. Nothing is more distracting than group chat notifications with people you don’t know. Also frustrating is the attempt to capture photos of everyone and everything over the entire day. Choose a time to focus on responding and sending text or moments to capture photos of everyone during the day. Don’t forget about your social media. Catching up on your timeline is important but choose when the moment will be. Planning ahead allows you to disconnect, making it easier to tell others when you are not available or ready for moments with others. My family and I usually spend time traveling. So, I choose to send text, check social media, and connect with those I won’t see during the day, while on the road. Once in the place or presence of those I will be spending time with, I place my phone aside and limit what I connect with at that time.
Accept that things will not be perfect
Listen, the holidays are going to be messy! I am not talking about food or wrapping paper. I am talking about the behaviors and actions of others. People are going to be who they are, no matter who that is. If your auntie is “messy”; she is going to be “messy”. If your cousin makes everything about him to be the center of attention, he gon’ be who he gon’ be. If Grandma asks questions no one else asks, prepare yourself and your guests for the interrogation with some scripted responses. Yes, your uncle will tell the same stories. Then your out-of-state Auntie will act like she just flew in from Wakanda.
The day after a holiday is safe for rest and recovery. If you focus on things going wrong, you are choosing to be miserable. Trust me. I learned the difficult lesson of believing things would be the way I desired. They won’t, so choose what you need to ignore, pack your patience, and laugh when everyone else does, Ok.
Last but not least, when deciding what impacts your mental and emotional peace, ask yourself these three questions. If your answer is “yes” to all three, find a trusted person to help you navigate what your best action and response will be in the moment.
If I respond or react, will this change the entire day?
Will this moment disrupt my life moving forward?
Is there anything at this moment I don’t know or need to know before I respond?
Now, these questions build upon one another. So, answer all three with “yes” before you flip the table, Sis. (I don’t advise you to flip the table unless it is your house and your table. If so, then flip that table like you are a WWF Wrestler going for a belt)
*I do not condone violence but I am a strong encourager of shutting some stuff down real quick.* Some more productive strategies are below as well. Your coach is a work in progress so I can neither confirm nor deny if the above was a little jokey joke.
1. Check out Audible, create a playlist, or find a podcast. These are options to break away from the moment and focus on something productive for your mental and emotional health.
2. Know who you can lean on in difficult moments. Make sure you discuss ahead of time what you need from them if you do need them. They may give you a reason to leave a room, or talk with you on the phone while you calm down and take a break, either way, go ahead and get your sanity squad together.
3. Create a plan for how you will recoup after the holidays. Some extra days off or just isolation from those you have actually spent time with could be beneficial. Schedule and plan to decompress from your holidays afterward to avoid making your self-care holiday-worthy.
If you are like me, you are doing good in taking the time a read this blog. Know the best part of the holidays is being present in the moment. Celebrate this year, reflect on the lessons offered to you, and most of all, show love and gratitude to and for those you are connected to within your life.
There will be things you cannot change or control, but no matter the situation, you can make the most of what you have by being true to who you are and honoring what the most important people in your life need from you at the moment to the best of your ability.